For centuries, men have been programmed not to show “soft emotions”. We are taught that men showing their feminine side makes them vulnerable. This is just “conditioning”. It is totally quite the oposite. It makes us stronger human beings.
Gender expression is more widely accepted now thank’s in part to the equality movement that has stirred the collective consciousness of humanity toward that end, as well as the scientific community that has looked deeper into the gender issue and now have scientific proof to back it up.
Humanity is maturing. At least many humans are, others are still resisting the inevitable, a few are regressing. The fact that humanity is starting to understand that sex, sexuality and gender as well as gender expression are totally different things, gives more widely acceptance of some behavior in men doing what used to be considered female only activities or conducts. The same can be said with women doing what was for a long time considered male only activities and conducts.
We now understand that the sex we were born into has nothing to do with our sexuality, and that sexuality has nothing to do with gender identification or gender expression. Although there can be so many combinations it can sometimes get confusing and that is why we have to educate ourselves.
There are so many sex, sexuality, gender identity and gender expression combinations possible that it is pointless for me to name them all right now. I just know that at the end of the day what really counts, it’s the fact that we are all human beings, and that in itself is above ethnic race, citizenship, profession, sexuality, sex, gender identity, political or religious beliefs.
This leads me to conclude that being a heterosexual male gender identified man who thrives on a patriarchal state of being and uses his left side of the brain (male side) more than his right side (female side), or a heterosexual female gender identified woman who thrives on the matriarchal state and uses her right side of the brain (female side) more actively than her left side (male side), are both out of balance human beings. They are the total oposites, the end of both spectrums, macho and feminist.
Let me explain. The perfect balance, and the way I have concluded humanity is heading as we evolve , will be balanced male or female with both gender identities and a balanced gender expression (androgynous) that embraces both patriarcal and matriarcal states of being and will be proficient in using 100% of both sides of our brains.
I understand that sex and sexuality are genetic traits, even gender identity, but gender expression up to this point in humanity could be conditioning because we are wrongly taught to suppress our gender identity if it does not fall in the same category as the sex we are born into. If we are born male, we are expected to “act like a boy/man”. If we are born female, we are expected to “act like a girl/woman”.
Please stop to analyze and think this. What is acting? Acting is the ability to transform into a convincing character in front of an audience to a degree that the audience no longer sees the actor as a performer but a completely different being, thus, “acting like a man” or “acting like a woman” is not being true to yourself, it is just playing a role to convince someone or some group about what they think who you are. But what about how you feel, what you think, how you identify? Why do we have to act out an identity that is not our own?
As you can see from the graphic I devised to try to explain it all, using myself just as an example, I identify as a heterosexual male who is to a certain degree female gender identified (the yellow dot). Why? Well Because I am very logical and analytical (my male side). I enjoy Art and consider myself very creative (my female side) while at the same time,
I love meditating and I lean more into the altered state of consciousness rather than the dogma. I also like to do some things that are considered female and I am very comfortable with that because I know who I am.
Why do I say all of this? Simply because this mental conditioning (if you are male you have to be macho and if you are female you have to be girly) is mostly just that, conditioning, and it has to stop in order for humanity to evolve.
For the human being that does not realize this, there will be suffering and internal conflict until he/she realizes and accepts the truth about themselves. Mostly because that suffering will be driven by fear of the unknown more than anything else. Humanity is coming full circle after millennia and are coming to terms with the fact that we are all one gender, just like before we are born into this physical realm. We are all human spirited perfectly balanced beings, and we all have very powerful traits that are inherently genderless.
Our collective consciousness creates our reality, and that is why we have been seeing so much change in the world lately. The violence, the prejudice, the hate, they are all reactions out of fear of the unknown, out of fear for change. The more we know, the less we fear, the less we fear, the more we thrive.
As humans we are mentally conditioned and we are put in a box, we are compartmentalized by the will of others. It is time for us as humans to be truly free.
Many human beings think they are free, but they are really not, it is just an illusion, because they are slaves, but they just do not realize it. They do not take time to analyze, to think and realize they are enslaved to a set or rules imposed by someones ideals, good or bad, but nevertheless not our own but someone else's.
They are enslaved by debt, enslaved by society, enslaved by doctrine, enslaved by their own ignorance.
We do not have to limit ourselves, we can embrace and act upon both states, feminine and masculine, that will make us better human beings. We have the capacity for that and so much more. As human beings, our faulty conditioning by others interests is holding us back on our path to evolution.
¿So what has all this have to do with men wearing nail polish? Everything…..
The only thing keeping men from wearing nail polish is ignorance and fear. Fear is a negative emotion of a future event. We can choose to embrace or reject fear. The future does not exist, so fear does not exist. We create our own future with our present.
Great post! This must have quite a bit of time to write. I wish everyone would read this. I assume people make a lot of incorrect assumptions about me based on my wearing polish.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jim, I agree wholeheartedly with you that people asume many things whiteout being properly informed. That is why I did this post. Has been working on it for a couple of weeks, It was three times the length originally so I had to trim it down quite a bit. I wanted to keep it as simple and to the point as possible.
DeleteFreaking awesome post.
ReplyDeleteexcellent post like always, i totally agree with what your saying. i just shared this post on your blog with a couple of friends. great way of explaining fear and what fears can do to us. awesome, at least for me since i discover your blog and starting reading your ideas i can say without a doubt i started living more happily.
ReplyDeletejulio
Nice to hear from you Julio, yes, we need to enjoy life and thrive. Good for you! Glad to know I have contributed at least a bit to that.
DeleteNice nails . Neon yellow for the next =)
ReplyDeleteGot my neon polish on and lovin every minute of it !!!!
DeleteI admire you.
ReplyDeleteI'm from South America, I have 25 years and I think from the 10 years I have this taste for to color my nails.
I still have not colored my nails daily as I'd like, but I hope to soon.
Must be great to have male friends who share this hobby.
What is keeping you from doing it? 15 years is a long time to wait to do what makes you happy don't you think?
DeleteHi
ReplyDeleteI love to wear nail polish, I wear a light pink and topcoat on my fingernails and various colors on my toes. There was a time when my wife and I bumped heads about it, mostly because I didn't listen to her and plowed ahead regardless. We have since talked it over and its cool. She's ,it turns out was more worried that people would laugh at me cause I don't fit gender rolls all that well, all in a tiny rural town. Thanks again for your posts.
Thanks for stoping by and sharing your experience! We all need to reprogram our minds. Your wife was acting out of the binary gender programming, it was not her fault. Good for the two of you that it worked out fine.
DeleteI have recently started caring for my hands and nails better. Using hand cream and taking better care of my nails. I found my nail split and broke very easy. When I looked into it, I determined that using nail polish could help make the nails stronger. Just to see what my wife would say I told her my problem and asked her if she knew a way to strengthen the nail. She suggested clear polish to help my nails. I told her I didn't have a clue on what to get. She said don't worry I'll get you some. So on her next trip to the drug store she returned with clear polish. I have been using it ever since.
ReplyDeleteGreat article, Gustavo. As a therapist I have understood gender expression as a continuum. I am straight, male, so that puts me above the 50 percent line on the male continuum. But I am sensitive and conversant and like activities many men don't like as well as don't care for some activities many men like so I am less than 100 percent Mae in expression. I call myself then a maybe 70 percenter.
ReplyDeleteI have developed a scale that describes who I am. Male biologically so I start with M. Then straight, so I am an S. Then in feeling I am a male, so am an M. Finally in expression I am a 70. In nomenclature them, accounting for all 4 I describe myself as a MSM70. I think that's a clean and clearer viewpoint of who I am.
I also color my toenails, it makes me happy. No one has ever questioned, which I wish they would rather than make stuff up, but my answer is this: "I have never heard one logical or intelligent reason why I can't or shouldn't wear polish as a fellow. Would you like to try?"
Thanks for stoping by and you are on target with your answer of "I have never heard one logical or intelligent reason...". Sometimes when someone questions my nail polishing I say "have you tried it?" Of course men almost always answer "No", so I say "riiiiight....." :-) Bottom line is we need to accept who we are without fear or prejudice. Cheers!
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